Our Adopted Children's Disabilities

I have been asked quite frequently of late about the disabilities that our children have. I realized that I haven't really touched on that topic here on my blog. Maybe by posting here it will help others to understand our kids.

Nathaniel and Lily both have albinism. They lack pigment causing them to have white hair, light skin, and blue eyes. Lily's eyes are an icy blue, while Nate's are more deep blue. They both have nystagmus causing the eyes to jump back and forth. It appears that they never settle to focus, but the do. Nate's nystagmus appears to be less than Lily's. They are also both photophobic. Lily is much more sensitive than Nate. I do not know the extent of their vision, and will not until they are older and able to express themselves. We are hoping to get in to a genetic opthomalogist soon. I am often asked if Nate sees better than Lily. I just don't know. Lily holds things closer and is not able to recognize people without other clues. We haven't had Nate long enough to really get a feel for his vision. Someday we will have better answers.

Mae has nerve damage in her right arm. When she was born, her shoulder was separated causing a brachial plexus injury. Because of this injury, she has limited use of her right arm and hand. We accepted her referral assuming that she would never have use of that arm. We were quite pleased when we met her with how much she is able to use her arm and hand. Mae is able to lift her arm a few inches and hold toys between her arm and torso. She is also able to put toys in-between her thumb and first finger. I am hopeful that someday she will be able to pick things up with those pinchers. The other three fingers do not move at all. She has no grasping ability with her hand. Her arm does hang awkwardly, and appears to be shorter. However, when I straighten it out, I believe her arms are the same length. In December, we will be traveling to Sacramento to the Shriners Hospital. Hopefully, we will get more answers on what we can do for her in the future. We are perfectly content with her abilities as of now, but we do want to do everything we can so that she can reach her fullest potential.

One of my prayers is that people will see past their disabilities and just see who they are. I want them growing up feeling confident in who they are, and not letting their disabilities define them. They have the potential to be whatever they want. Well.... except for maybe surgeons!

Home at Last!

This adoption trip was quite the experience. We had a difficult time getting to China, an emotional first week, a great second week, and a crazy experience getting home. Our trip home started out common enough. We, along with our friends, took a late night flight from Guangzhou to Honk Kong. The flight was short and uneventful. We purposefully choose a hotel connected to the airport for ease of transportation and for getting to bed quickly. Well, the hotel was horrible when it came to checking in. Imagine waiting for 45 minutes to get a hotel room with two tired children after midnight. Not fun!
While we were waiting I started to feel a twinge in my stomach. I figured I was just tired and maybe a bit hungry. We finally received our room number and headed up the elevator. Upon walking in, we were surprised that we had a suite. It was nice, but so late that the room barely registered in my brain. We got the kids to bed and fell under the covers ourselves.
Shortly after falling asleep, I woke up feeling quite unpleasant. I proceeded to spend the reminder of the night becoming best friends with the toilet. I managed to lose 5 pounds that one night! Yuck! Either I had food poisoning, or my body just shut down. Not sure exactly, but I do know that I did not have the flu. No fever or chills accompanied my misery.
When the night finally ended I was miserable. Jon was concerned enough to start planning another night in China and changing our flight home. There was no way I was going to spend one more night in China! They have toilets on the plane! With help from our friends we managed to get to the airport. I owe great thanks to Breanna Wong. She carried my heavy backpack along with hers. She also kept track of Nate when Jon was trying to check us in. I do not know how we would have made it without her.
We were cutting it close to the time our plane was boarding. Finally, we were called out of line to get our boarding passes and told to hurry. We waited to get our passports checked and then jumped the line at security. Nothing like pushing your way through security to get your stress level up. We arrived at the tram to take us to our gate with only moments to spare, walked quickly to our gate, and finally made it on the plane. I praise the Lord for keeping everything in my stomach where it needed to be during this whole time. What an answer to prayer.
The flight home was brutal. One child on my lap, and the other crying off and on. Flight attendants took off with our son and didn't bring him back for 5 minutes. They were entertaining him in the galley with food! Um.... no!!!!!!! We told them very firmly to bring him back. Mae screamed every time I got up. She dozed here and there, and did well as long as I was near.
Flying into America is such an amazing experience. I am so grateful to be an American. We are incredibly blessed to live in this country despite the economy and politics. We are able to drink water here, eat without wondering if you will be sick, and have the freedom to express our religious beliefs. I so look forward to worshiping my God tomorrow without any government telling me how or when. How blessed we are.
Being all together under one roof again is awesome! I missed my children at home so much. Micah, Alex, and Lily are thrilled to have us back. Lily is quite a bit emotional, but I know that in time she will adjust. Nate loves all the toys, and Mae is starting to smile a little more and frown a bit less. It is a little crazy having three toddlers in the house. I will be one busy mama. No more wasting time on the internet for me!
I will leave you with a few pictures of the kids enjoying one another. Thank you for following our journey. Stick around. There may be more China adventures to come! Who knows?!

Last of the Paperwork

Today was our appointment at the American Consulate. This was the last time we needed to gather and submit paperwork. After over a year of paper-chasing, we are done! Yay!! Typically, adoptive parents take pictures of their kids on the red couches of the White Swan Hotel. Since we are not staying there we took them on the white couch of the China Hotel. Some of these pictures are hysterical. Enjoy!

Just Waiting

 

Well, it appears that I have run out of words. I have no deep thoughts to put down. We are at the point in the trip where we are all just waiting for that final step so we can go home. I really miss my kids at home. It is going to be so wonderful to see them again. Yesterday we did some shopping. Tamera Wong and I actually escaped for a few hours and enjoyed some time just laughing and talking. It's wonderful having my dear friend here with us. (And Brian, too!) What memories we will have!   Today, Tuesday, we will go to the American Consulate. Once we are done there, we will get their visas and head on home. We fly to Hong Kong late Wednesday night and back to the States on Thursday. The end is finally coming! Just a few more days and all five of my children will be together. Wait...... did I just write five?!?! Crazy! Even crazier is that I am basically going to have triplets. WHAT WERE WE THINKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Life is going to be so much fun. I can't wait!

Sunday Snapshot

Went for a walk

Cooled off a little

It's a little wild with two in the pool!

Yikes! It's time for a nap.

The Motley Crew - Bayley Wong, Nathaniel, and Mae

Peace at last.

Burning off some energy

Ending the day with some noodles in the hotel room.

Finding Love

A bout a week ago, I woke up and contemplated what the bible said about love. If you click back to before our trip, I blogged about what His word says on the topic. I am so glad that God had placed several verses on my heart to teach me about how we are to love. Those verses have come in to play on this trip.

It’s hard to love a screaming child. It’s hard to love a child that is hitting you and pushing you away. It’s hard to love a child whom you have only met in pictures.  There is almost a feeling of holding them at a distance until they are bathed and in fresh clothing from home. Even then they can still feel like strangers. I know this is not always the case, but it was how it felt this year with our two.

Christ teaches us to act in love, not to just feel it. It is a command, not a suggestion. Every moment since being handed our kids I have tried to act in love. We have fed, bathed, held, tickled, and kissed. My love for Mae has come much quicker than for Nate. Mae has been stuck to me like glue. It is hard not to bond a bit with someone who is staring into your face all day.  Nate and I have had less time to interact. Jon has completely taken over the care for him since I have Mae in my arms all the time. Because of this, Nate has wanted little to do with me. Slowly, this has changed. On his own initiative he has come to sit in my lap and give hugs. We still have a ways to go, but I am not worried.

It has been such a blessing to see how God causes our love to grow with our children, and to see their love grow for us. What joy it is to see Nate reach his little arms up and say “Baba”. How precious it is when Mae puckers up her sweet lips and leans in for a kiss. We have found love by acting out what it means to love one step at a time.

Guangzhou

Friday ended our stay in Zhengzhou. We were so ready to move on. The “5 Star” hotel there is not the greatest. I, personally, do not enjoy putting my toilet paper in the trash can instead of the toilet! I am sad to leave our guides, however. They are the best.

Thankfully, our flight to Guangzhou was uneventful. Everything in my stomach stayed where it needed to be and there were no typhoons to interfere with our flight. Great progress!

We all piled into a bus and headed to the China Hotel. This hotel is amazing. It truly is a 5 star hotel. The beds are soft, there is a huge bathtub, and I get to flush my toilet paper! Praise the Lord!

Around 11 at night I headed back down to see if the next group from CCAI had made it in. I have been anticipating this moment for a few days. I rounded the corner to the lobby, and there standing at the desk were our friends, the Wong’s. I admit to a few tears. It was like a little bit of home right here in China. God had moved our paperwork together and now we get to finish our trip with some dear friends. I anticipate a lot of laughter!

This morning found us headed to the medical clinic for their exam. It was pretty typical. Screaming children, crowded rooms, and controlled chaos. Both of our kiddos did a great job. Nate may have a hernia, but I am not too worried about that. Once we get home, we will get that checked out.

We had a bit of time after the exam to roam around the area. We hit a few shops and bought Mae a pair of shoes. Shopping isn’t my favorite thing to do, and it is so hot here.  I was not disappointed when it was time to head back to the bus.

The kids are both down for a nap, Jon is off to play some ping pong with Bryan Wong, and I am content to sit in a quiet room. This evening we will have dinner together as a group, and then call it a day.

Day of Relaxing!

We decided to opt out of the tour today. Even though we love the Shaolin Temple, it would be too hard with both kids. We took a walk to the local park with another family. It was very enjoyable. Right now the kids are taking a nap and we are ready to rest. Tomorrow we are on our way to Guangzhou. Can't wait to meet back up with our friends, Team Wong! Enjoy the pictures.

Where to begin...

Yesterday was the day we finalized our adoptions. They are officially ours. Papers have been signed and we are blessed to call them son and daughter. After lunch we took a bus to a shopping center to buy a few supplies. One of which were some shoes for Nate. The shoes he was brought in were sandals for a girl and very large.

Today we headed over to Nate’s orphanage and Maria’s Big House of Hope.  The bus ride was long, but it was fun to see the country side. Nate was constantly asking to go to the bathroom. We tried a couple times and then decided he must just want some attention. Either that or he was bored. No more potty stops for him.

Upon entering the orphanage you are bombarded with the smell of urine. It is considered a good orphanage, but it is still an orphanage. Paint is chipping on the walls, things look dirty, and there are children alone without families. It is heartbreaking. I was blessed to check in on two children who will be going to homes within the next 6 months or so. I was not able to hold back the tears as I laid my hand on their heads and prayed for them. It does not seem right to leave them when they have loving homes waiting for them.

The visit was a blur. They do not show you much. Just a few rooms down one hall. It makes me wonder what the rest of the orphanage is like. Maybe I do not want to know. I truly believe that they put their best foot forward on that first floor. Hopefully I am wrong about that. After just 20 minutes we were leaving.

The next stop was Maria’s Big House of Hope. This facility was named after Steven Curtis Chapman’s adopted Chinese daughter who tragically died a few years ago. This place is amazing! It is clean, smells great, and there are many American volunteers roaming the halls. They take in children with more severe needs until the age of five. What a great ministry here in Zhengzhou.

Overshadowing it all is the fact that a family in our group has disrupted their adoption. Out of respect for the family, I will not go into any detail. I share because it has affected me deeply. I grieve for the boy and the family. I would love to just go put a band aid on the situation and make it all better. I want to see them whole as a family. I want to see this boy taken from an orphanage and placed into a loving home. I will never understand the decision, but I do need to trust God that He will work through all the pain and heartbreak.

Overall, Jon, Nate, Mae, and I are doing well. We are very tired, but ready to keep putting one foot in front of another. It is no easy thing to adopt two children at once. Others contemplating this need to realize that it is no walk in the park. Jon and I are constantly “on”. We cannot relieve each other. Mae is attached to me and Nate is attached to Jon. While this is good, it makes it difficult for us to attach to the other child. Nate wants little to do with me and Mae does not want Jon. We are not concerned about  this, just stating the facts. It is not easy or ideal. Will it work out ok? Yes. Would I do it again? In a heartbeat! One just needs to be prepared.

Please pray for me that I will start sleeping better. I am attempting at staying up later tonight in the hopes that I will sleep for longer than three hours. We will see.