What Happened to My Joy?

Around the beginning of this year I realized that I could not see the miraculous workings of God in my everyday life. During a bible study, I mentioned to my friends that I must be missing something. Maybe I was looking for something too big. I must be missing the small things that God is doing in my day. I asked for prayer that I would see God in my everyday life.

The answer from that prayer was phenomenal. For about six weeks I was walking on God's blessings. Every time I turned around, God was showing me how miraculous He is. The story of Nate, our new car, other exciting adoptions for friends, and an inheritance flooded into my life. Joy was bubbling out of my heart and spilling everywhere. Never could I have imagined such an answer to prayer.

Then came unexpected medical bills.

CRASH!

The IRS has decided to review our taxes and question our adoption credit.

CRASH!

Our new to us car needed a new gas tank.

CRASH!

The joy that was once overflowing was now gone. It bubbled over and never returned. What happened to that joy? The circumstances of my life stole that joy from me. I began to worry about our finances. What would we do if we didn't get that tax credit? How can we pay for all these bills and still find the money for our adoption?

But, wait. It wasn't the circumstances that stole away my joy. My lack of faith and trust in God is what stole away my joy. Joy is not dependent on circumstances, but comes from the One who redeems my soul and gives me peace. I can still have joy when faced with difficult circumstances. I realized that these trying times in my life are actually an opportunity to grow more in my faith. I can still have joy because I know that these difficulties are temporary and not eternal. Praise God for that!

I would love to say that my joy has returned and is once again bubbling over. I'm not quite there yet. I am a work in progress. Right now I am praying that I will trust Him with the IRS and our finances. God did not bring these two beautiful children into our lives without a plan for the finances to bring them home. I'm done worrying about it. God is in control. Joy is not dependent on my circumstances. I pray that these words that I have written will move from my head to my heart.

Updated picture of our daughter!

Look at what I discovered in my inbox today!

I have been pondering lately how I have no clue how our sweet little Mae looks. Most of our pictures are very old. I was thrilled to receive all the updated pictures of Nate and wished that I could have the same with Mae. What a surprise to get this new picture. I can't wait to wrap that girl in love.

Greatly Blessed

As of this moment I am in awe of God's provision in our lives. It is remarkable how He goes above and beyond what we could ever hope and dream for.

A few weeks ago we finally sold our Pathfinder after trying to sell it for a year. To be honest, we made a poor decision in purchasing that vehicle. We told ourselves that it was ok to buy this nice car because we could afford the monthly payments. I loved the newer look, the extras, and I felt like I finally had a nice car. Then enters Lily. We didn't realize that there just wasn't much room in the back two rows. This was not good especially since we were now adopting two more children. It was time to purchase a Suburban.

The last few weeks we have been looking around on the internet for a used car. We figured we would need another loan, but decided that we would be more faithful with our money and spend significantly less. The car was only going to be abused by our children.

Jon stumbled on a Suburban that was selling for $8000. This was a good price for us and our loan wouldn't be too difficult to pay off. We headed out on Saturday to take a look. The outside was great, but the inside had a few minor problems. Things that weren't huge, but would need to be fixed. The other problem was the service engine light was on. That could mean just about anything.

Jon and I drove away not sure what to do. We wanted to be wise in our decision, but I just really had a feeling that this was the car that God was directing us to. After some discussion, we decided to make a fairly low offer so that we could pay cash for it and then put some money into it. Jon gave the man a call and made the offer. He said that he would think about it and let us know.

Saturday ended and we heard nothing.....
Sunday came and went and still nothing.....

Monday arrived and I opened my email to discover his response. He said that normally he would have ignored our offer, but he and his wife had prayed and decided to sell it to us for even less than our offer. Imagine the tears that flowed down my face in pure amazement. Here was God using complete strangers to further bless us in our desire to be faithful with our money in order to step out and adopt Nate this year.

This couple that blessed us today will forever be a part of our lives. We will share this story with our children and grandchildren. We will teach them that God provides when you listen to His call. This story will be an example of how the body of Christ can come together and support each other.

All day long I have marveled at how God has provided for us. This is just one example in how He has met all of our needs. These past few weeks we have seen God work in the most amazing ways.

Praise God from whom all blessings flow!

I believe he has a family. YAY!!!

Could a little guy be any cuter? If we weren't already bring two home from China, you can bet this little guy would be in our family. More than anything, I want this child of God to feel the love of a family. He is precious. He is two and has albinism, which is such a manageable special need. He currently is on the shared list for waiting children in China. Hopefully, this little guy is already matched. If he isn't, would you consider him? If you have any questions, leave a comment.

Lily's Day in Court

 On Friday, we promised to raise Lily as our own. To give her a full inheritance. 

Lily, you are loved.

God just keeps giving

The night after we received Nate's file, I found a yahoo group for his orphanage. As I was reading through the messages I found that someone was going to try and visit the orphanage in just a few days. I emailed them that night and asked if they might be able to get picture's of our little guy. The pictures that were in his file were 1 1/2 years old. I was not hopeful that they would get my email in time. Imagine my surprise when one morning I woke up to 8 current pictures of Nate. He has an infection under his nose, according to the nannies, and had just been woken up from his nap. His poor little nose looks so painful. Pray that it will clear up soon.

He is going to be one handsome little fellow.

Adding another boy to the family

 Putting Out a Fleece

Then Gideon said to God, "If You will deliver Israel through me, as You have spoken, behold, I will put a fleece of wool on the threshing floor. If there is dew on the fleece only, and it is dry on all the ground, then I will know that You will deliver Israel through me, as You have spoken." And it was so. When he arose early the next morning and squeezed the fleece, he drained the dew from the fleece, a bowl full of water.
Then Gideon said to God, "Do not let Your anger burn against me that I may speak once more; please let me make a test once more with the fleece, let it now be dry only on the fleece, and let there be dew on all the ground." God did so that night; for it was dry only on the fleece, and dew was on all the ground.
Judges 6:36-40

On Monday, February 21, Jon and I decided to put out a fleece. We felt God calling us to bring not one, but two children home from China. Our hearts cry out for those sweet little guys with albinism who do not seem to get adopted. We knew that eventually we would go back for one, but it seemed that God was calling us to do it now.

Tuesday morning we sent an email to our agency asking them to look and see if there were any boys with albinism available. He needed to be between 3-6 years old and on what is called the Special Focus list. The Special Focus list is filled with children that have been waiting for some time or have complicated special needs. The only way for us to bring home two at once is if our little guy was on this list. We also knew that we would need to get a referral immediately if we were going to proceed.

I asked our agency how long it would be before we might know if there was an available file. The response was how about now? I also commented to them that wouldn't it be great if he was from the same province as Mae. The chances of that was pretty slim. Imagine my surprise when the referral came and he was indeed from the same province! God's fingerprints are clearly all over this process.

By Wednesday morning all of our paperwork was ready to go. Our agency had everything they needed to submit our Letter of Intent (LOI). By lunch time we had our updated home study. Wednesday night our LOI was translated. Thursday morning our agency submitted our LOI to China and locked our file. Whew! What a crazy ride.

Then, Thursday afternoon, we received our Letter of Acceptance (LOA) for Mae. The timing is amazing. If we would have received Mae's LOA just a few days earlier we would not have pursued a second child. I am speechless and in awe. Clearly, God has orchestrated this whole process.

Introducing.......

Nathaniel YuMing Grabowski

born 6-25-2007

Luoyang, Henan, China

Nathaniel means "God has given"