The enormity of what we are embarking on is starting to set in. When we adopted Lily the transition was so easy. The boys were older and did not need me every waking minute. I have no illusions that it will be this way again. Lily is quite attached to her mama. It is going to be so rough for her when we come back. Two more little bodies are going to need me. Two children, who's lives have been turned upside-down, are going to need extra love and attention from their new mama.
I have no idea how I will meet the needs of our kids. I have no idea how I will be able to start school with the boys just a week after we return home. Micah will be in the seventh grade this year and school is going to be so much more intense. Alex still needs a lot of help with his work. I have no idea when I will cook, clean, or even find time to go to the bathroom.
Thank the Lord that I don't have to do it alone! Only through Christ can I have the strength, patience, and love that will be needed. Daily will I need to lean on Him.
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ReplyDeleteI imagine the first six months or so will be a bumpy ride. Passage from "The Family Mobile":
Family-systems therapists know that when a new child arrives, through birth or adoption, the family is thrown into disequilibrium: the power structure of the family, the parent and sibling relationships, the individual identities and roles, all go up for grabs. In the family-mobile metaphor, the same concepts are understood: when you tie on another doll ... the thing goes haywire -- the arms of the mobile tilt precariously, the threads tangle and knot, the figurines spin and crash together and some threaten to slip off.
''It typically takes us a year to work in a new child, a year till he or she isn't 'new' anymore, though we can usually make it to 'reasonable' in six months,'' Nancy says. ''At first, when a new one arrives, all the other kids are really nice and helpful and supportive. Then, slowly, there's the realization: 'Hey, this kid is kind of a pain.' It's an interesting dynamic, and it's always the same.
http://www.nytimes.com/2001/08/19/magazine/19FAMILIES.html?pagewanted=5
Your post is honest and true. Pare things down to the necessary when it comes to school. Schedule a time each day when Micah might read to Lily, or Alex might play a game with her. Make it regular. Say YES to every meal offer. Say YES and pull out your calendar when someone offers to clean or fold laundry. I know you've already gotten rid of "stuff". Good for you. Each item we own must be managed by us, and management takes time. Less is more. I wish we lived closer.
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