Around the beginning of this year I realized that I could not see the miraculous workings of God in my everyday life. During a bible study, I mentioned to my friends that I must be missing something. Maybe I was looking for something too big. I must be missing the small things that God is doing in my day. I asked for prayer that I would see God in my everyday life.
The answer from that prayer was phenomenal. For about six weeks I was walking on God's blessings. Every time I turned around, God was showing me how miraculous He is. The story of Nate, our new car, other exciting adoptions for friends, and an inheritance flooded into my life. Joy was bubbling out of my heart and spilling everywhere. Never could I have imagined such an answer to prayer.
Then came unexpected medical bills.
The IRS has decided to review our taxes and question our adoption credit.
Our new to us car needed a new gas tank.
The joy that was once overflowing was now gone. It bubbled over and never returned. What happened to that joy? The circumstances of my life stole that joy from me. I began to worry about our finances. What would we do if we didn't get that tax credit? How can we pay for all these bills and still find the money for our adoption?
But, wait. It wasn't the circumstances that stole away my joy. My lack of faith and trust in God is what stole away my joy. Joy is not dependent on circumstances, but comes from the One who redeems my soul and gives me peace. I can still have joy when faced with difficult circumstances. I realized that these trying times in my life are actually an opportunity to grow more in my faith. I can still have joy because I know that these difficulties are temporary and not eternal. Praise God for that!
I would love to say that my joy has returned and is once again bubbling over. I'm not quite there yet. I am a work in progress. Right now I am praying that I will trust Him with the IRS and our finances. God did not bring these two beautiful children into our lives without a plan for the finances to bring them home. I'm done worrying about it. God is in control. Joy is not dependent on my circumstances. I pray that these words that I have written will move from my head to my heart.