The Naughty Chair

Parenting Lily has been quite an interesting adventure. It has been so long since there has been a toddler in this house. I have been parenting older children and have forgotten many of the techniques of toddler parenting. In some ways I think this has been good for me.

When I first had a toddler in the house I was 25 years old. Gosh that sounds young. I had Micah at the age of 23 and knew nothing about parenting. I thought I would have it all down since I had a child development major. Ha! Little did I know what I was getting in to.

I read some books, talked to other moms, and plowed forward. My problem back then was that I took these parenting books very literally. If they said to never . . .  then I would make sure I followed that advice to the letter. I was rigid in some areas and spanked for everything.

Fast forward 10 years. I am much wiser in the parenting department. Note that I said wiser and not wise! I can see the other end of toddler-hood. I can see that the decisions we make while parenting them as toddlers can really effect the way they are as older children.

Because Lily was added to our family through adoption, we decided to not spank her the way we did the boys. We wanted to make sure that she felt attached and secure in our family. (Disclaimer: This is just our decision for our family. This is not how I think all families who adopt should parent.) There are occasions where she will get a little tap to the thigh or hand when she is not obeying, but I have really focused on sitting her in a chair for time-outs.

I was noticing that she was becoming very needy of me. I wasn't able to accomplish anything while she was awake. This was driving me crazy. After reaching the end of my rope one day, I pried her off my leg and set her in her crib. Surprise, surprise she calmed right down. However, hefting a 36 pound toddler back and forth from her crib all day would destroy my back. It was time for a different tactic.

In this picture she is still crying.

Out came the child sized chair. Amazingly enough, she sits in the chair for the full two minutes. As soon as she is there she calms right down and waits patiently for me. I must admit that I am shocked that this works. I figured she would get right down out of that chair. She must say sorry before she gets down and give me a hug and kiss. It is quite sweet.

The other day we were playing in the family room. Lily walked over to the chair and sat there all by herself. She looked at me and said, "Lily crying. Wah wah." I just about died laughing! Silly girl.