We have Pre-Approval!!!!

Our pre-approval arrived today. We are now allowed to share about our sweet girl.

Xu Miao Xuan

now

Mae Xuan Grabowski

born September 18, 2009

Isn't she the cutest little thing? I'm not sure how old she is in this picture. I'm assuming around 1 year. She has nerve damage in her right arm which causes it to be weak. Jon and I are prepared that she will have no use of her hand or any ability to use the right arm. Anything different will be a pleasant surprise. I guess she will be a lefty! :)

After receiving Mae's referral I began to scour the internet looking for pictures of her orphanage. I discovered a yahoo group specific to the Xuchang SWI. In one of the messages I found that someone had visited early in the year and took a bunch of pictures. I emailed them and asked to see the pictures hoping that Mae was in one. She emailed me back asking for my phone number. When she called I was stunned to find that I knew her voice. She and her husband where one of the families that we traveled with. I could not believe it.

I was able to see some of her pictures in the yahoo group and was bummed to not find Mae. It was neat to see her orphanage and see how well it was kept. A few days later my friend called again and said she had more pictures. While they were there her husband was drawn to one particular child. Through a window the husband snapped nine pictures. That child was Mae.

I now have pictures of Mae when she was 7 months old. It is crazy for me to think that they had pictures of Mae on their camera while traveling with us around China. We were only an hour or so away from her while adopting Lily.

One tiny step closer to Mae

For the last week I have been constantly checking my emails for an update from our agency. We received Mae's file on December 16th and I sent our Letter of Intent (LOI) back to our agency that night. Once our agency receives our information they translate it and send it electronically to China. I figured this to take just a few days. With Christmas it took 11 days. Ugh! Finally, I had an email from our agency saying that they sent our LOI today. We are not formally locked in with Mae until China gets this. A few weeks from now we should receive our pre-approval (PA). Once we have our PA our dossier will be sent to China. From then, it should be a 4-6 month wait. My head tells me to just sit back and let God control the time frame. My heart, however, wants to get on the plane tomorrow.

Happy Birthday, Lily!

Two years ago a woman gave birth to my sweet girl. I imagine the possible excitement this woman had going into labor. Would it be a boy? Would this child fulfill all the dreams she had dreamed? Imagine the drive to the hospital. Or maybe she gave birth in her home. The pain endured to give birth was intense. Finally a cry. She was handed a baby. As the mother gazed down into the child's face she is shocked to see that she is white and not brown. Her eyes are blue and the peach fuzz on her head is platinum. The turmoil that must have erupted inside her heart was more than she could bear. This child she just gave birth to was considered bad luck. A curse. Why? Why was she given this child?

The woman wrapped this sweet girl in a blanket and took her home. Day after day she held her, cared for her, and loved her. Every moment she probably wondered what she was going to do. Was her family shunning her? Would her baby girl have any chances in this world? The future looked bleak.

A decision was made. This child would have no future. Maybe even her family would be shunned for keeping the baby. Six weeks after giving birth she made her decision. In the morning she dressed her sweet girl and tightly wrapped her in blankets to ward off the cold.

She took a taxi to a populated park and walked to a cave that was visited often. Holding her baby close to her breast, she looked around to see if anyone was watching. When she was sure it was safe she laid down the bundle and hurried away. Tears slid down her face. Hiding nearby she waited and watched to see if someone would find her precious bundle. A few moments later the child was discovered.

The mother turns away and breaks down. Sobs wrack her body as she heads for home. What would become of her baby girl? Did she make the right decision? Would she live forever shunned by her people? Or, would she find a home and acceptance.

Two years later, This sweet baby girl has a family, a home, and a future. Today there was only joy as her birthday was celebrated.

Happy Birthday, my sweet Lily girl. May God bless you as you make your way in life. Your future is full of promise and hope.

A New Daughter!

It is our pleasure to introduce you to our new daughter.

Mae Xuan Grabowski

I originally had a picture here. However, I am not allowed to post any info about her or photos until we have pre-approval. Pictures will come soon. Trust me that she is precious.

We are completely blown away by receiving a referral already. We are done with the paperchase, but have yet to be logged in to China. We thought that we would be logged in by the end of 2010 and at the soonest receive a referral around spring time. Imagine my complete shock when our agency called.

Since adopting Lily, I was pretty sure we would be adopting another little girl with albinism. I envisioned a little one with pale skin, blue eyes, and platinum hair. God had different plans. Those big brown eyes have drawn me in completely. I am always amazed by God's plans. They are so different from mine and always turn out infinitely better.

We can not wait to bring this little one home. She will soon have a family forever; a mama, papa, brothers, and a sister. She will belong.

No Longer Overwhelmed

A few posts back I was whining about being overwhelmed. Yes, whining. I am happy to report that I no longer feel overwhelmed. Sure, there are still days that I want to pull out my hair. Who doesn't have those days? But, I no longer feel as if I can't function.

Are you curious as to my secret for being less overwhelmed?

I am letting go.

I'm letting go of having a perfect house. We live here and there is going to be dirt and clutter. No more I am going to feel guilty that Jon may come home to a mess.

I'm letting go of having a perfect school day. It's just not going to happen. Assignments may even be pushed to the next day or even the next week! My boys will learn.

I'm letting go of my time. This is not my time in life. When my children are all grown and moved on in life I will be able to pursue some of my interests. Right now God has my day filled by meeting the needs of my family. I pray every morning that I will remember that I am serving Him by loving and serving my family.

I'm letting go and letting God control my day. I'm spending time reading His Word and praying. He will provide all the comfort and peace that I need.

Letting go can sometimes be the hardest thing to do, but I am going to make that decision every morning when I wake up.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Matthew 11:28-30

Paper Possibilities

This stack of papers has huge possibilities for the future of my family. These seemingly unimportant pieces of paper represent a life. A life that will some day be grafted into our family. I know very little about this sweet child. But, I do know that this child will be a girl. She will be younger than 4 and Chinese. I know that she will bear the name Grabowski and have the love of a family. I know that God has every step planned out. I learned that with the wait for Lily.

 This stack of papers represents six months of work. It isn't very difficult, but it is time consuming. I have discovered that adopting is like a race. Actually, it is like sprinting for an entire marathon. Every appointment, every interview, and every time sensitive piece of material can have a huge impact. A delay during the race can mean 10 more miles added to that marathon. Another lesson learned during our first adoption. Finishing this paperchase means I can finally stop for a water break. The race isn't over, yet. I don't cross the finish line until the day I hold my daughter in my arms.

This stack also represents that I can venture out on my own. I do not always need to hold someones hand when I need to do something new. I can drive all day to new places. I can navigate San Fransisco. I can do it on my own. Wait...... I need to be honest. I really can't do it alone. However, I can accomplish these things through Christ Jesus.

Pray for our new little one, whoever she may be. Pray that she is loved, safe, and healthy. Pray that God will prepare her heart for the day that she enters into her forever family.