Six Months With Lily

I am amazed that we have reached the six month mark with Lily. It feels as if we have had her forever, yet there is a gap. That gap would be the first year of her life. I am so thankful for her China mom who took such good care of her. She had no delays, was healthy, and quick to attach. I attribute that to God and the wonderful woman who took Lily into her home.

My first impression of Lily was of her outfit. The clothes were bright and gave you the impression of a circus. She had layer upon layer. When I picked her up I could feel bare skin where a diaper should be. Those first few moments with Lily are a blur in my mind. It is so strange to be handed a child you have never met before and realize that they are now your child.

Fast forward six months. This little girl has so completely captured my heart. Lily is vibrant, joyful, stubborn, busy, and very loving. She is one smart little girl. Her vision issues are no problem for her to conquer. Her hair has grown, her cheeks have healed, and I get to put her in much cuter clothes!

I am so blessed to parent this amazing child. Every day I kiss those sweet cheeks and thank the Lord for that 5 year wait.

My Dad's Quirky Birthday Present to Me-

In order for you, the reader, to understand this gift, you must understand a bit of my past. Around the second grade my mom enrolled me for gymnastics. She thought it might be a fun activity for me. What she didn't realize was that it would become my life for six years. I lived and breathed gymnastics. (I'm sure there is still chalk in my lungs!) I couldn't imagine my life without the hours I spent at the gym.

Now back to the present. Tonight I opened a gift that sent me flying back into the past. When I was 10 years old, I boldly told my dad that I would do 3 pull-ups and 3 leg-lifts until I was 35 years old. I was so sure of myself that I wrote it down on a piece of paper and signed it. Knowing that I would never fulfill this, my dad filed this paper away and bid his time.

Today was his moment. After waiting 24 years, my dad was able to present me this-

Obviously, I did not do this. Thanks, Dad, for reminding me that I lack follow-through.

When God Answers

Wednesday, last week, I was plain weary. Weary of the monotony of my day; wake up, eat, teach, herd a toddler, eat, clean up, teach, laundry, and then manage a toddler again. I was in a rut that day. I truly love the life that God has given me, but some days I just forget to praise Him for what he has given me. Instead, I focus on me and what I would rather be doing for myself. How I longed to just sit in a quiet house that day and read a good book. To just fade away from this world and enter another that doesn't require anything from me.

Thursday was our weekly park day. Most Thursdays the kids all scheme to see who can come over to play. Alex worked the system so that he could go to a friend's house. Micah looked a little lost with no where to go, so I boldly walked up to another mom and asked if she would like one more kid at her house. "Yes," she replied. Pure heaven for me. I went home, put Lily down for a nap, grabbed a bowl of ice cream and watched a movie. The house was still, quiet, and all mine.

Friday, Jon took half the day off from work. He came home and asked how he could help me. While I cleaned the house he finished school with the boys. At the same time the house was getting clean and school was being done. I felt productive.

Later on Friday, I felt God nudge me at the corner of my mind. All of a sudden I realized that God had answered my pitiful cry for help. He stepped in and gave me rest when I didn't really deserve it. I was being discontent and selfish and then God reached out and showed me His love.

Empty Spaces

Are there empty spaces in your life? I have a few. On September 29th, my grandmother turned 97. As I stood next to her to take a picture, it struck me that there was an empty space beside me. A space that used to be filled by my brother. It felt strange to have this momentous picture taken without him.

Here was a space that used to be filled and is now empty.

There is another space in my life that is empty. This space will be filled with a little life full of future. I do not know her name yet, but I know that this space will be full of love and joy.

Here is a space that is empty and will one day be filled.

Life, I have found will always have these empty spaces. They will fill and empty without us ever knowing the whys and hows. I do know that Christ is always there to fill my spaces completely. These earthly "fills" will not satisfy.

Here is a space that can be filled for eternity by God.

Thank you, Lord, for filling the spaces in my life with your love. Help me to not rely on those around me to fill them.