Time to regroup and refocus

The last few months I have found myself mulling over an idea. In order to understand my thoughts, we must back up a few years. Well, quite a few years.

Growing up, I was involved in everything and anything I could talk my parents into. Gymnastics, flute, piano, dance, band, and coaching gymnastics kept my busy from sunup to sundown. I don't remember anything about school. All I remember are my extracurricular activities. I believe I drove my parents crazy.

I have carried this mentality into how I raise my kids. Granted, I don't have them involved in everything, but I think about having them involved in everything. I pressure myself thinking I need to have my boys participate in sports, music and other activities.

As summer began, I was already dreading the Fall semester. Swimming, drumming, robotics, soccer, and AWANA were all on the horizon. Panic was setting in. How were we ever going to be together as a family if every night we were committed to another event?

The last weekend in July I attended a home school conference. I managed to sit still for one session that left me changed. The speaker talked about having your home be Christ-centered. I realized our home was becoming activity-centered. We needed to make a change.

For the next three months, the Grabowski family has pulled out of all activities. We are not committing anything. Freedom is the word that describes how I feel.

Our hopes are that we put Christ back into the center of our family. To be honest, I am not sure if He ever was the center. I am ashamed to admit that last thought. It is time to regroup and refocus.

We also plan on spending some time doing things as a family. Playing together, loving each other, and just enjoying each others company.

Finally, we are going to be working on hospitality. Having people over is something that we struggle with. I always have an excuse. What it boils down to is that I am lazy and do not like to cook. After a great conversation with a mentor of mine, I now have a plan. Jon and I are looking forward to having friends over to share a simple meal.

In conclusion, these next few months we are going to regroup and refocus our family. I now look forward to the Fall instead of panic at the thought.

Struggling to find my groove

Scattered. Fragmented. Incomplete. These three words describe how I have been feeling lately. Organization seems to elude me these days. Home schooling with a toddler is such a new experience; one that is taking me some time to adjust to. I would not change my life. Not one single aspect. I love home schooling. I love my daughter.

I just seem to flounder in being organized and productive. Laziness is the root of most of my problem. If I would only get up early in the morning, I could exercise and read my bible. Starting my day right would be such a help. Instead, I stay in bed until Lily needs to get up, which is around 7:30.

Throughout the day, I start and stop so many things. Chores are half done and school is completed in bits and pieces as the day progresses. I have sewing projects that have been started and not completed. The house is maintained, but never deeply cleaned.

And, what on earth am I supposed to do with a very busy toddler during school? She spends around 45 minutes in the playpen already. Nap time is spent doing history and science. How do you entertain a toddler while needing to help your very distracted 4th grader??????

Somehow I need to find my groove. I need focus. I need to complete projects.


Any suggestions?

There is No Halo

A couple of weeks ago I took Lily to the ophthalmologist. The doctor walked in with a student trailing behind. She proceeded to tell the student about Lily and her condition. Then, she asks the student if he sees the halo over my head. "There is no halo," I proclaim. The doctor carries it on for another moment.

Ah, if she only saw my heart. She would recoil at the sin that is there. It is only by the grace of God that I will spend an eternity with Him. We did not adopt Lily to "save" her. Many of the reasons we adopted are selfish ones. I wanted a daughter. I dislike being pregnant. I desired another child.

God has put it on our hearts to adopt. We do have the room and the love to give another child. These reasons should not put a halo over my head. They should be pointing to God, His mercy, His love, and His compassion. It has nothing to do with me, but everything to do with Him.

Lost without a computer!

I have been without a computer for the last few weeks. It has been such a frustrating experience. While it was being repaired, they wiped out our hard drive. I lost my whole China photo album (I still have my pictures) and all the lesson planning I had done for school. That equals hours and hours of work. I won't be blogging about much until I get my school planning back up and running. Oh well. At least everyone is healthy.